On First Love
"maybe your first love is the one that sticks with you because it's the only person who will ever receive all of you. after that, you learn better. but, most of all, no matter what, a piece of you forever remains left behind in the heart of the one you loved - a piece no future lover could ever get, no matter what. that piece holds innocence, the belief that love really can last forever. it holds friendship and pain, trial and error, that one kiss you'll never forget, and that night under the stars you can never get back. it holds youth and everything you thought love would be, everything that was proven wrong."
Walking down the street I see a reflection of a brick wall in a puddle on the pavement. Naturally, I look up and study this new place near my office. There are several alcoholic beverages on display, strategically arranged to show two big glass windows of wine and tonic for viewing pleasure. I smile at the shopkeeper and continue walking. I eventually open by bag and pull out my phone. Yes, I couldn't resist taking a quick shot before anyone noticed. I continued on, happier now. And I realized the place had probably been there for some time now. Possibly even before I started working. Hahaha! Here's my quick shot. Nothing impressive though. I have to admit that I have this weird obsession over brick walls. I just find them fascinating.

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The woman is a very complicated being. Simply put, we are very hard to understand. We have always been known to be irrational and unpredictable but most of all, moody. More specifically, there is a time every month that we are allowed a certain level of moodiness that is morally acceptable by the world. Why? Because it is at this time that we undergo suffering by Mother Nature that entails us to go through great pain and loss (of RBC), only us women. During this period, we are allowed to frown all we want. We are allowed to glare at random people who annoy us. We are allowed to have a 180-degree turn in personality... And that's me being bitter. We're not really allowed all that. We ARE allowed to offer an explanation as to why we're being bratty all of a sudden and leave it at that. There are times, however, that the pain is too great for us to even offer anything at all, not even a reaction. So people go wondering if yanything bad has happened to you after seeing the stricken or frowning look on your face. Right now, I can't even think straight. Everytime someone talks to me I can barely understand a thing. All I can think about is the wonderful bruise on their left cheek after I punch their face. That goes for people who go near me, try to touch me, or try to look at my monitor. The earphones and my yellow Nike jacket with its hood up should be a sign already. Off limits.

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It's again the quarterly meeting for the members of the actuarial community. Here in my seat I see less than 100 people socializing with each other, establishing new connections or trying to maintain some. I personally am a newbee at this. This is my second time to attend an assembly and the only thing I can do right now is mingle with my peers and try to study other people. It is at times like these that I feel proud of the career path I chose to pursue. There are only a few of our bright minds here in the Philippines which means that there's always somewhere to go, career wise. Some sacrifices, however, may include sleepless nights from nonstop studying; and occasional mental and emotional breakdown from balancing your work load, exam study schedule, and social life (sometimes the last one gets scrapped altogether). It's a long hard road to be an Actuary but I'm sure I'll get there someday, hopefully before I get married. Eyes on the prize. That's all I need to think about. Or maybe I can think of the salary incease for each passed exam. I guess that's not too bad. :)
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What better way to revive my blog than to post something about my current hobby: Fashion Blogging!
I like to call myself fashionable. Not fashion model/designer type of fashionable, just out of ordinary fashionable. I recently joined two fashion blog websites, Chictopia and Lookbook, except I'm more active in CT than LB. I'm trying to work my way into Style Council. Hopefully I'll be able to achieve that in a few months. This new hobby helped me explore more styles and new combinations of my clothes. It's very challenging and exciting at the same time. I've developed a need to take full body pictures of myself when I like what I'm wearing, which is often. Here are some samples:
Obviously I'm still a newbee with noob shots and poses. Super fail ako! But I do believe I'll improve over time. I've also been active in their forums and I particularly liked answering this one question.
How has your style changed?
I started to dress up in high school. I always watched TV and read magazines to keep up with the trends, nothing permanent yet. I got to explore more in college, and finally discovered my own personal style after I started working. I’m so thankful that we’re allowed to wear casual wear to work. That means I’m allowed to wear ANYTHING I want, minus my shorts and short skirts. I’m obsessed with prints which I sometimes attribute to my wanting to stand out. I hate boring and dull clothes and colors. After I started working, my closet was suddenly overflowing with printed tops and dresses. I eventually realized that I needed to balance out my wardrobe with basics and I’m still in the process of completing my basics-to-buy list. I usually go for girly dresses and I have this mini-fetish with exposing too much legs. My personal style would be mostly a nice dress or something eye-catching and stylish at the top paired with shorts or skirts. Lately I’ve been obsessing over boots because of the rainy weather, but usually I complete my outfit with nice wedge shoes. :)